Family Life

A WORD FOR SINGLE MUMS

Arise, raise up the youth and support him with your hand, for I intend to make him a great nation. Genesis 21:18  (Amp.)

Being a single mum must be one of the toughest jobs in the whole wide world. It’s tough enough even with the support of a loving, present father who partners with you to raise your offspring in the right way. Having to be both father and mother to your children for whatever reason can only be demanding, to put it very mildly. My intention in this piece is not to examine how you got here or to remind you of how important it is for children to be raised by both parents. I am sure you know all that and more already. My mission is two-fold: First, to let you know that your present situation as a single mother does not define who you are. Your worth and value in the sight of God is not tied to the presence or absence of a husband in your life. Whether you are a widow, divorced, separated, or unwed mother here is a reminder that you are a person of worth and value in the sight of God your maker. He loves and cares for you and has great plans for your life inspite of what may have happened in your past.

Secondly, I would like to remind you of your awesome responsibility of raising your children well. As daunting as that task may be, I want to assure you that the God who helped Hagar, the first single mother in the Bible, He will help you too and make your children great despite your circumstances. Please read her story in Gen. 16 and 21. In chapter 16:13 Hagar made a profound statement because she knew something that you need to know: At her lowest point, when she was pregnant, thrown out on the street and alone, she declared ...THOU GOD SEEST ME!!! My sister, God sees you! He sees the difficult situation you are in and not only that, He wants to help you. Later in chapter 21:18 God gave her an instruction which I would like to echo to you today: Arise, raise up the youth and support him with your hand, for I intend to make him a great nation. (Amp.)

1. ARISE! 

Get up from the floor. Get up from self-pity, condemnation, anger, bitterness, revenge, stinking-thinking, blame-game, name-calling, malice, envy, forgiveness and what have you. Arise, you have a job to do; an assignment with generational implications. 
Get up in the strength of the Lord in whose name you can do all things. Let go of every attitude and tendency that weighs you down and makes it difficult for you to focus on the future of your children and how you can help them to get there. Arise and leave this level; as something greater lies right ahead of you.

2. RAISE UP THE YOUTH.

Please focus on bringing up your children right and that with a positive attitude.  Don't spoil them with things because unconsciously you are trying to make up for the absence of their father. Don't let them get away with bad behavior because you do not want to upset them more. Don't turn them to your fellow combatants by turning their hearts against their father. Don't poison their minds with negative talk about men, marriage, in-laws or whatever. Instead, raise them UP not DOWN. Their experiences in life don't have to be like yours! Encourage them, discipline them, lead them to the Lord, and let them have a life. Prayerfully get male mentors for them as well, especially if their biological father is unable or unwilling to be a part of their lives. Please do this with great caution and supervision in order to avoid other kinds of problems.

3. SUPPORT HIM/HER

Be there for your children; physically, spiritually, emotionally, academically, career-wise, in their relationships etc. Do your best for them and work hard to not let your feelings of hurt get in your way of helping them to be who God has ordained them to be. 
Be patient with their weaknesses and resist the temptation to lash out at them in anger when they go wrong. Some women have done it successfully and so can you. Please read the story of Ben Carson for more inspiration. Finally, my dear sister I would like to let you know that your work will not go unrewarded. In the above verse of scripture God says He intends to make your children great nations! That is the ultimate of God for your children; that they be great! 
Keep that in view despite your present reality and God will make a way for it to happen! Your children shall be great and so shall you.

God bless you!